The Judge’s Perspective

How I Learned to See My Case Through Their Eyes

For months I thought the judge’s job was to decide who was right. It’s not. Their job is to make sure the process stays intact. Once I understood that, I stopped trying to win favor and started trying to make their job easier.

Most pro se litigants walk into court assuming they’re being judged as people. You’re not. You’re being evaluated as a participant in a system that values clarity, brevity, and respect for process. Judges read hundreds of pages a week. What they crave isn’t drama—it’s organization.

The first time I realized this was during a custody hearing. I watched a lawyer flip through my exhibits and pause. Everything was labeled, tabbed, indexed. When the judge asked for a reference, I had it open in seconds. The look that crossed their face wasn’t approval—it was relief. That was the moment I understood: order is empathy.

A judge sees hundreds of chaotic filings from people who are overwhelmed and desperate. When you show up prepared, concise, and calm, you communicate that you respect their time and the gravity of their role. That doesn’t mean surrendering your truth; it means packaging it so it can be absorbed.

Here’s what I started doing:

• I stopped writing for emotional impact and started writing for accessibility.

• I used headers and clear numbering in every filing.

• I included a one-page summary at the top of each motion.

• I ended with a single, specific request.

That structure did more to earn credibility than any passionate argument ever could.

The judge isn’t your enemy or your ally—they’re your audience. Write for them. Speak to them. Respect their bandwidth. When you do, your composure becomes their relief, and that’s when you start to be heard.